Nocebo is the evil twin of the placebo effect—and my constant companion. I set out to find out what it is, and how I could learn to harness the more positive effects of medical mind games.

Apocryphal story from residency: On morning rounds in the critical care unit, the post-call resident starts to present a complicated patient admitted overnight with chest pain, and after the first bits of the history have been presented, the wise old cardiology attending turns to the gathered medical students who are just starting their first clinical rotation and asks them what they think this could be.

If you’ve browsed the internet recently, you probably have noticed the #10YearChallenge social media trend that has taken over our news feeds. The phenomena have individuals comparing a current photo of themselves, to their former self ten years ago. As I thought about how well (or not) I’ve aged over time, it got me thinking about the two most important advice I would give my younger self (knowing what I know now).

I barely remember walking out of the hospital that day. After a nearly 30-hour residency shift, I was in a bit of a daze. I trudged across the main parking lot, staring absently at the coffee-colored snow beneath my boots. I have no memory of reaching the crosswalk to the main road or even stepping on to it. What I do recall is the loud, startling screech of brakes.